As you wish watoto wako waielewe misingi ambayo umeiweka kama mzazi vilevile chukua muda wako mwingi kuwasoma na kuwapa nafasi yakuwa karibu nao ili kuwafahamu zaidi.

Msingi wa malezi sio provision of food, health care, Education and all important needs only, hapana malezi bora ni zaidi ya hivyo vyote na mzazi bora ni yule ambae anatumia muda mwingi kujua misingi ya yule mtoto kuzaliwa ( kutambia kusudi la kuumbwa kwake) 

IFANYE NDOTO HALISI YA MTOTO UNAEMLEA IWE KWELI L

Ndoto za watoto wengi wa Afrika zimeshindwa kuwa kweli kwa sababu ya watu waliopewa nafasi yakuwasimamia vijana na watoto wa Kiafrika, pengine ni mzazi, mlezi hata viongozi wa taasisi mbalimbali za Serikali, Mashirika binafsi ambayo yamekuwa yakifadhiliwa na mashirika ya ndani na mashirika ya nje kwa lengo la kuhakikisha watoto wanapata nafasi yakuishi ndoto na malengo yao.

● Wazazi/walezi kwa asilimia kubwa wamekuwa chanzo cha mauaji ya mtu aliyekusudiwa na Mungu kwa sababu ya nafasi zao kwa watoto na vijana wanaowalea. Ni jambo la kawaida kwa mzazi/Mlezi kutaka mtoto wake kuishi matakwa yake ambayo mara nyingi huwa ni yakutafuta hadhi na heshima kwa marafiki na jamii inayomzunguka. Hivyo kwa matakwa hayo basi analazimika kumtengeneza mtu asiye halisi kwa nafasi yake yeye kama mzazi au mlezi.

● Ni jambo la kawaida mtoto kuonekana hana akili darasani anapochagua kufanya masomo ya sanaa kwa sababu jamii yetu inaamini mtoto anapofanya masomo ya sayansi huyo anauwezo mkubwa wa kiufahamu ukilinganisha na wale ambao wanafanya masomo ya sanaa wanapokuwa shuleni, vilevile ni jambo la kawaida kwa mtoto/kijana kuwekwa kwenye kundi la watu wa hovyo, wasio na akili pale tu anapokuwa na matokeo yasioridhisha anapokuwa shuleni.

●Andiko langu halijajikita kwenye kufanya promosheni ya watoto kutokuwekewa mazingira ya usaidizi kwenye misingi ya kuonyeshwa njia bora za malezi hapana, andiko langu lina lengo lakukuonyesha wewe mzazi/Mlezi na wewe kiongozi wa taasisi za serikali/mashirika binafsi  unanafasi ya kumwonyesha njia bora mtoto wako kwenye ule wito mkuu alioitiwa na Mungu duniani. Pengine kwa macho ya hadhi wito wake haukuvutii lakini ndiyo eneo lake bora kuliko  maeneo ambayo wewe unaona kwa macho ya fikra zako ndiyo eneo sahihi la mtoto wako kufuata.

● Tumeua vipaji na karama za watoto wetu kwa sababu tumeacha wajibu wakufuata misingi bora ya malezi ambayo yanafanya promosheni ya kile ambacho mtoto amekibeba ndani yake ambao ndiyo uwezo halisi wa mtoto wako. Ni rahisi zaidi mzazi/mlezi kumzuia mtoto asipractice kipaji chake cha kucheza mpira, kuimba na mambo mengine ya vipaji kwa sababu yeye (Baba/mama/Mlezi) alitaka kuwa daktari na akashindwa basi anataka mtoto wake awe daktari ili kutimiza matakwa na ndoto yake kupitia mtoto wake.

●Ukweli ni kwamba ulichopewa wewe na Mungu sicho alichopewa mtoto wako kukifanya hapa duniani, hapa duniani kila mtu ana kusudi lake, wito wake na amepewa vifaa saidizi kulingana na kile ambacho Mungu alikikusudia kitokee kupitia yeye huyo mtoto wako, nje na hapo unalazimisha samaki kupanda mti na simba kuwa fundi wakuogelea.

● Ni kweli mtu anaweza kulazimishwa na mazingira kufanya kile ambacho sio kusudi lake na akafanya vizuri mfano mtoto anaweza kulazimishwa kusoma aina fulani ya professional, anaweza kufanya vizuri sana hata kuwa miongoni mwa watu bora katika hiyo kada lakini kila jambo tunalofanya duniani ambalo ni kusudi halisi la Mungu basi ndani yake huwa na passion nje yakuwa ni jukumu ambalo linapaswa kutekelezwa.

● Mfano nikiwa na passion yakuwa kiongozi, jambo la kwanza halitakuwa maslahi yangu binafsi nitatamani kuona nafasi yangu kama kiongozi inakuwa na matokeo chanya kwa wale ninaowaongoza kwanza kabla yangu, naweza kupitia maumivu makali sana, kwa mimi ni kiongozi basi nitakubali kupitia dhoruba na changamoto zote kwa ajili ya wengi. Nachukua mfano wa Yesu kristo mwana wa Mungu, the Role model of all Role modes duniani, yeye alikubali kuwa sadaka ili kuonyesha njia kwa sisi ambao ni wafuasi wake, si kwa kulazimishwa ila ni kwa sababu alikuwa mfano bora kwetu.

●Mtu akiwa anafanya kazi ambayo ni kusudi lake, kinachotangulia kwanza ni passion, kabla ya maslahi binafsi, uzuri wakufanya kitu ambacho ni kusudi lako, hata kama ili uweze kufikia ile pick, kiwango cha juu cha ubora kuna maumivu atayapitia lakini kwa sababu tu kuna ile nguvu ya asili ndiyo inayompa hamasa, bado imani na tumaini lakuifikia kile anakiona ataendelea kupush kwa nguvu, maarifa, uvumilivu, ubunifu na hata kama kuna gharama za ziada zitahitajika basi atatafuta namna ya kuhakikisha anagharamikia ili tu apate kile anachohitaji.

●Mfano nimehudhuria mafunzo ya huduma ya mtoto ambayo yamekuwa yakiandaliwa na shirika la compassion International Tanzania, nimekuwa nikijifunza jambo anaposimama Mkufunzi Ndugu Letema Laizer, namna ambavyo ule uhusika anavyouvaa na kile kitu bora anachokitoa kwa wanafunzi wake, lakini unaona ile passion aliyonayo katika kufanya kazi ya ukufunzi. Wakati mwingine kuna baadhi ya technical issues zinakuwa zinajitokeza wakati wa mafunzo lakini, he will always find ways to solve the problems whether in the night wakati nyie mmelala atafanya so unaona tu kuwa kando ya kuwa ni kazi yake lakini anaenjoy kuifanya na katika kuenjoy huko basi kuna toa kitu ambacho huleta picha halisi ya huduma ya mtoto kwa watendakazi nakuiona ile huduma ikiingia ndani ya watenda kazi kama sindano inayoingia na kutoa simu ambazo wanakuwa nazo wanapokuwa wametoka kwenye vituo vyao vya kazi kutokana na baadhi yao kupitia changamoto kadhaa zenye kuvunja moyo na kuondoa nuru ya huduma ya mtoto ndani yao.

●Mtu mwingine ambae ananisimamia mimi katika utekelezaji wa majukumu yangu, mzee wangu Raphael Lyela (Balozi) zile article zake haziji tu kwa sababu anajua ila ni kwa sababu ni kitu ambacho he was born to do, whether iwe kwa payless kwa maana ya fedha. Yeye anapoona ujumbe umewafikia vijana na kuona matokeo ya kazi yake ikibadilisha mentality ya vijana basi that is an enjoyment for him. Kuna matokeo makubwa sana kupitia program za vijana anazofanya kupitia whatsap groups, lakini zile Camps za Youthkingdom Ministry, amazing sana. Hapa sio pesa bali ule wito mkuu ndani yake ndiyo unaweza kuleta matokeo ambayo mwanzo haikuwa priority kwake.

●Ninachojifunza zaidi sasa ninapoelekea kuwa baba na nikiwa mlezi wa vijana kituoni, naona wajibu wangu mkuu ni  kuhakikisha nasimamia ndoto za vijana na kusimamia zichupue na kustawi kwa misingi ya malezi bora kwa vijana. Kuifanya ndoto ya mtu kuwa kweli sio jambo la kulala na kuamka tu ni kama ambavyo tunaweza kuandaa shamba, kulima, kupalilia, kumwagilia, hapo katikati kuna kamchakato fulani ambacho kinahitaji uvumilivu ili kupata matokeo tarajiwa.

●Changamoto tunayopitia walezi wengi, tunaishi kukariri mfumo fulani wa maisha, kutaka ile public popularity, sifa fulani mwanangu anasomea udaktar, anasomea uhandisi nk. Mambo hayo ni mazuri lakini kama yanapita kwenye njia au mfereji ambao sio wake hata utendaji wake kesho unaweza usiwe bora kama ambae ukiacha kuwa ni taaluma yake, na ni kazi inayomwingizia kipato basi huwa ni huduma kwa upande mwingine na hao ndiyo wako kujitolea kufanya jambo lolote akiamini kuwa kwa sababu jambo hilo liko ndani ya uwezo wake basi wataona alichonacho na hicho ndiyo kitamtambulisha na kumpa nafasi ya kutengeneza uhitaji kwa jamii/taasisi kupitia yeye. Mtu anaanza kwa kujitolea akiamini anahitaji jukwaa, (Platform kuonyesha kile alichonacho) akipata hiyo fursa basi mengine hubaki kuwa ni historia, i take some examples of Secular muscians hapa Tanzania, Harmonize alipata dakika tano mbele ya Diamond pale Dar live, Mbagala Zakiem na ikawa nitolee na aliamini anaweza, nani leo hamfahamu Harmonize hata kama sio mfuasi wa hizo kazi zake lakini umewahi kumsikia au kusikia nyimbo zake hata kwenye vyombo vya usafiri. Naturality is more power compare to Artificiality.

●Kwa hiyo Malezi bora sio kuwalazimisha watoto/Vijana kutembea kwenye mawazo na matamanio yako wewe kama mzazi/Mlezi/kiongozi wa taasisi lakini malezi bora ni kuonyesha njia penye lile kusudi la Mungu ndani ya mtoto au kijana unae mlea na kumsimamia wewe.

●Do not use your position as a parent/guardian or a leader to kill the dream of a child or young person. If you don't know something, look for solutions and more knowledge on how to nurture your child's potential.

Mimi ni kijana wa Balozi Raphael Lyela.

0755632376

0719110760

www.mgemamoses.blogspot.com

The story of life begins as, you live a dream and you imagine through your mind, you imagine many things that give you a picture of tomorrow that you wish to have. This is the dream of every child as well as young people, this exists in all angles of human life, Education, work / employment / owning a large business that affects the economic area with positive results, having faith in the sense of believing in God and living his philosophies in the sense of praying to him as well as doing good worship the last area is relationships, where in this area everyone wishes to find the right wife/husband even if he does not have those qualities, but at the end of the day in this area everyone wants something better.

incentives.

• Sixth, all employees must have a path to give feedback on the success of the process.

• Seventh, all employees must actively participate in the procedure.

• Eighth, the change may involve strategically-planned corporate “interventions” such as mergers.

Organizational Leaders

Many business experts believe that this type of leadership should come from the human resources department. An article in Forbes Magazine says the most important factor in organizational change is managing human capital. The article author says that human resource departments should focus more on being “strategic business partners” and less on implementing HR policies. The article goes on to say that the most important components of the development are identifying options for change that are available to the corporation and then to look at employees in terms of management talent and how to recruit, train and keep that talent.

HR also should be responsible for creating a motivational program that would permeate the entire organization. Obviously, the kind of assessment and change discussed here necessitates the leadership of people who understand human and organizational behavior and other components of the challenge of organizational change. Universities offer degree programs for professionals that include undergraduate and graduate degrees as well as doctoral degrees and certifications. Certificates can generally be earned in less than a year and can supplement other business degrees. Students take courses in areas like communications, conflict resolution, staff development, and human resource management.

ELIMU YA PADRE WA KANISA KATOLIKI

(Sehemu ya Tatu)

Na. John-Baptist Ngatunga

___________________________

Sifa za Kipee za Viongozi wa Kanisa Katoliki:

1. Baadhi ya Sifa hizo ni kwamba, Viongozi hawa kwa kawaida huwa hawahangaiki na Vioja; wanahangaika na Hoja. Ukija na Hoja watakujibu kwa Hoja; ukija na Vioja wala hawakuhoji. Wanajibu Hoja kwa Hoja sio Hoja kwa Vioja.

2. Mfumo wao wa kutatua changamoto daima huwa ni Majadiliano zaidi kuliko Mabishano. Hawawezi na hawapendi kubishana, ila wanapenda kujadiliana. Hii ni kwasababu wanajua kuwa kubishana ni kutaka kujua nani yuko sahihi ila kujadiliana ni kutaka kujua nini kipo sahihi. 

3. Wanapenda kucheza na Masuala (Issues) sio watu. Wanajadili Masuala hawajadili sana Matukio au watu. Ndio maana hata linapotokea jambo la Kitaifa kama hili suala la Mkataba wa Bandari kati Tanzania na DP World waliongelea suala lenyewe yaani MKATABA na wakajikita katika Hoja hiyo. Hawajamlenga Mtu au Watu. Wamezungumzia Mkataba (Issue) sio Watu na Dini zao au Makabila yao.

4. Hawana desturi ya kukurupuka katika Maamuzi yenye maslahi mapana kwa Jamii. Wanajipa muda wa kutosha kulitafakari jambo, kusali na kuliombea Taifa au Jamii, kufanya Tafiti juu ya jambo kabla ya kutoka hadharani na matakamko. Ndio maana wakitoa WARAKA au TAMKO unakuwa Mjadala wa Kitaifa. Na ndiyo desturi ya Wanafalsafa (They don't rush to conclusion without premisses).

Tofauti na baadhi ya Taasis ambazo hukurupuka tu kama chafya na kutoa matamko bila kufanya Tafiti. Wakati mwingine badala ya kujikita katika NINI, wao wanajikita katika NANI. Badala ya kujibu Hoja kwa Hoja wenyewe wanawashambulia watoa Hoja. But it's not to the Catholic Church.

5. Kwa kuzingatia historia ya Maisha yao ya Kitaaluma, usomi, akili, upeo na uelewa mkubwa walio nao;  itoshe tu kusema kuwa Kanisa Katoliki ni moja ya Taasisi zinazoongozwa na Viongozi wenye Matumizi mazuri sana Akili. Na kwamba 'Intelijensia' ya Kanisa Katoliki huwa haibabaishi, haibahatishi, haikisii, haikurupuki, haionei, haidanganyi. Ipo objective na inatenda haki.

6. Na kutokana na hilo sitakuwa nimekosea nikisema, "The Catholic Church is the Big Brain Institution; Full of Competent, Confident and Confidential Intellectuals led by the Power of the Holy Spirit to lead God's people bodily and Spiritually" (Kanisa Katoliki ni Taasisi yenye Akili kubwa; iliyojaa Wasomi Mahiri, wanaojiamini na wasiri wanaoongozwa na Nguvu ya Roho Mtakatifu kuwaongoza watu wa Mungu Kimwili na Kiroho).

7. Viongozi hawa ni Watu wenye Moyo wa kusaidia sana Jamii kwa kutoa Huduma mbalimbali za Kijamii ili kuiinua Jamii kutoka Lindi na Tupe la Umasikini. Angalia Huduma za Kijamii zitolewazo na Kanisa: Elimu, Afya, Maji, Nishati ya Umeme, Ajira, na nyingine nyingi.

8. Hawa Viongozi wakiliamua jambo lao, ni lazima tu litafanikiwa kutokana na umakini, umahiri, uchapakazi, kujitoa, uadilifu, Imani. Angalia Jinsi Taasis za Elimu na Afya wanazozianzisha, kuzisimamia na kuziendeleza zinavyofanya vizuri: Angalia Vyuo Vikuu kama:

(i) St. Augustine University of Tanzania (SAUT) 

Pamoja na Vyuo vyake Vishiriki vyote

(ii) Ruaha Catholic University (RUCU)

(iii) Catholic University of Health and Aliened Sciences (CUHAS -BUGANDO)

(iv) Mwenge Catholic University (MWECAU) 

Sijavitaja Vyuo vya Kati, Seminari Ndogo na Shule za Sekondari ambazo zinafanya vizuri sana Kitaifa na Shule za  Msingi.

Angalia pia Hospitali mbalimbali:

(i) Hospitali ya Rufaa Bugando (Mwanza)

(ii) Hospitali ya Peramiho (Ruvuma)

(iii) Hospitali ya Ndanda (Mtwara)

(iv) Hospitali ya Ifakara (Morogoro)

(v) Hospitali ya Lugarawa (Njombe)

Zijavitaja Vituo vya Afya na Zahanati.

Na kwa hapa Tanzania ukiiondoa Serikali katika suala la utoaji wa Huduma za Jamii, Taasis inayofuata ni Taasis inayoongozwa na Viongozi hawa: Maaskofu, Mapadre, Watawa (Mabrother na Masista) yaani Kanisa Katoliki. Na usipolitaja Kanisa Katoliki kwa hilo utakuwa aidha haujui au unachuki binafsi.

9. Viongozi wa Kanisa Katoliki wanaupenda UKWELI. Na Mtumishi wa Mungu Father John Hardon, SJ aliwahi kusema, "Our Duty as Catholics is to know the Truth; to live the Truth; yo defend the Truth; to share the Truth with others; to suffer for the Truth" (Kazi yetu kama Wakatoliki ni kuujua Ukweli; kuuishi Ukweli; kuulinda Ukweli; kuutetea Ukweli; kuwashirikisha wengine Ukweli; kuteseka kwaajili ya Ukweli).

Na kimsingi huyo UKWELI ni YESU KRISTO. "Yesu akawaambia, 'Mimi ndimi njia, na kweli, na uzima; mtu haji kwa Baba; ila kwa njia ya Mimi'" (Yohane 14:6)

10. Kutokana na ukweli huo, Viongozi hao wa Kanisa Katoliki huheshimiwa sana na Waamini wao. Na hapa nikuambie tu ukweli kwamba kwa Muamini Mkatoliki, anawaheshimu Viongozi hawa pengine kuliko Kiongozi wa aina yoyote ile unayoijua wewe.

Na linapotokea jambo lenye ukinzani kati ya Viongozi wao na Mtu au kundi fulani la watu, ni rahisi sana kwa Mkatoliki kuufuata upande wa Viongozi wao. Ukitaka kuamini hiki ninachokuambia, fuatilia suala zima la TAMKO LA BARAZA LA MAASKOFU KATOLIKI TANZANIA (TEC)  KUHUSU MKATABA WA BANDARI.

Sio kwamba Waamini hawa Wakatoliki wanafuata tu mkumbo la hasha. Hii ni kwasababu wanawajua vizuri sana Viongozi wao kuwa wako serious (makini) sana na mambo yao. Ni Viongozi ambao wanaongea wanachokimaanisha na wanakimaanisha wanachokiongea.

Sio kama walivyo baadhi ya Viongozi wengi wanaoleta Propaganda za kishamba na Siasa za kitoto ambazo zina athari kwa Jamii wanayoiongoza halafu wenyewe hawajali, wabinafsi na wanaoyajali matumbo yao tu bila kuwa na jicho la huruma kwa raia wengi wanaotaabika kwenye wimbi la ufukara ulipitiliza.

Viongozi ambao wakati mwingine unaweza ukadhani labda Akili zao zina makengeza. Wanatamani kukiona hiki ila macho hayana ushirikiano na mshikamano na uso wao. Ni Viongozi ambao wanajua Ukweli lakini hawako tayari kukusema ukweli au wanaogopa kumshauri Boss wao kisa tu Boss ameshaonesha mwelekeo fulani wanaoujua kwahiyo wanaogopa kumshauri tofauti na ukweli kwa kuogopa kuvipoteza Vyeo vyao.

Very hopeless Leaders!!

11. Viongozi wa Kanisa Katoliki wana BUSARA. Na ninaposema Busara namaanisha, "Matumizi sahihi ya Maarifa". Ni wasomi walioelimika. Yaani ni wasomi wanaojua kuitumia Elimu yao kwa manufaa yao na manufaa ya Jamii inayowazunguka. 

Unajua, hapa Tanzania tuna Wasomi wengi sana na tuna Viongozi wengi sana Wasomi ambao hawajafanikiwa kuelimika. Waliosoma ni wengi ila walioelimika wako wachache sana. Wengi wamesoma ila wachache wameelimika. 

Ndio maana tuna baadhi ya Viongozi ambao jinsi wanavyotumia Elimu na Akili zao katika baadhi ya Maamuzi huwezi kuamini kama kweli walifundishwa na Walimu wenye Vyeti halali au ni wale wa Vyeti Feki. Ukiwasikiliza jinsi wanavyotengeneza Logic zao katika maongezi unaweza ukadhani labda ni watoto wanaojifunza kuongea.

12. Viongozi wa Kanisa Katoliki ni mfano halisi wa MCHUNGAJI MWEMA ambaye Yesu Kristo Mwenyewe kwa kinywa chake alimsema, "Mimi ndimi mchungaji mwema. Mchungaji mwema hutoa nafsi yake kwa ajili ya kondoo...... Mimi ndimi mchungaji mwema, nawajua walio wangu, nao walio wangu wanijua Mimi" (Yohane 10:11,14)

Mchungaji Mwema ana sifa kuu Tatu:

1. Mwema

2. Huitoa nafsi yake kwaajili ya kondoo wake

3. Huwajua kondoa wake nao walio wake wanamjua

Hawa Viongozi ni WEMA kwa kuwa wana NIA NJEMA na Wakatoliki na hata wale wasiokuwa Wakatoliki yaani ambao hawamo katika 'Zizi' la Ukatoliki (Yohane 10:16). Maana yake Mapadre na Maaskofu wetu ni WEMA kwa Watanzania wote. 

Viongozi hawa WANAZITOA NAFSI ZAO kwaajili ya Taifa la Mungu. Ndio maana wanapambana kuzitetea Rasilimali za Taifa hili kwa manufaa ya Watanzania wote japo wasiojua wanawatukana badala ya kuzijibu Hoja zao kwa Hoja.

Wanawajua Waamini wao wanataka nini na Waamini wao nao wanawajua Viongozi wao na wanawaheshimu. Ndio maana nilisema kwa Mkatoliki kindakindaki, huwezi kumwambia chochote kinyume na Wachungaji wao akakuelewa. Hii ni kwasababu Maaskofu na Mapadre wanajuana na Waamini wao.

Hapa nimejaribu kugusia tu kwa uchache kuhusu namna Padre wa Kanisa Katoliki anavyopitia Maisha ya Kimalezi ya Kiroho, Kielimu na Kijamii kwa wale wenye Wito wa Upadre. Lakini kama ulikuwa umenifuatilia toka mwanzo nimeelezea kuhusu upatikanaji wa Viongozi hawa na Elimu zao. Sasa kazi ni kwako kupima kati ya Elimu ya Viongozi wa Kanisa Katoliki na Elimu ya hao Viongozi wanaokuongoza Kidini au Kisiasa nani wanatumia vizuri Elimu  na Maarifa yao?

Niishie hapa!!

Biblia Inasema Nini Kuhusu Kurejeshewa 

Nina mfano wa rafiki yangu mmoja ambae alidhamiria kukamilisha ukarabati wa nyumba yake, sikiliza nikuambie, 

Rafiki alipokamilisha ukarabati wa kina kwenye nyumba yake

. Nilipokuwa nikifuatilia safari yake kwenye Facebook, nilishusha na kufurahia picha za bafu lake jipya kabisa. Nilifikiria ingekuwaje kuwa na hiyo nyumbani kwangu!

Pia niliona picha za kazi zao zinazoendelea, ambazo zilinisaidia kutambua ni muda gani, juhudi na kujitolea vilivyotumika kuunda mradi uliorejeshwa kwa uzuri. Bila kusahau vipaji vyao vya kujenga na kubuni.

Kwangu mimi, ni heshima kubwa. Ni bahati kubwa kuwa sehemu ya klabu hii kubwa, sehemu ya familia hii

Andre Onana ni nani?

 Andre Onana anatokea wapi, kwa nini amejizolea umaarufu kwa kasi hivi ukilinganisha na miaka miwili mitatu nyuma ?

Andre Onana kwa kifupi kabisa ni mmoja kati ya Magolikipa mahili sana katika soka la kisasa, Ni ajabu sana kumkuta GK wa Kiafrika akiwa kwenye lango la Team kubwa barani Ulaya lakini yeye amekuwa miongoni mwa hao wachache waliovunja record hiyo tena akiwa na man utd iliyokuwa na David De Gea kwa misimu 12 iliyopita

Mahusiano mazuri ya wazazi ni muhimu katika malezi ya watoto

Watoto hujifunza kutokana na matendo ya wazazi wao, kama watoto wakilelewa kwenye familia yenye mifarakano na kutokuelewana baina ya wazazi wao mara nyingi watarithi tabia hizo. Wakilelewa kwenye familia zenye mahusiano mazuri, majibizano yenye kuheshimiana nao watathamini umuhimu wa mahusiano. Tatizo kubwa linalopelekea mahusiano kuzorota ni mawasiliano dhaifu. Udhaifu wa mawasiliano tunaozungumzia ni pamoja na kukaripiana, kutukanana, kununiana na hata kusonyana mbele za watoto wenu.

Hili laweza kuwa tatizo la mahusiano yenu, lakini kwa nini muwahusishe watoto? Kwani ugomvi lazima ufanyike sebuleni? Hakuna faragha kama chumbani mkakaa na kuzozana?

Kupaziana sauti mbele ya watoto wako inawaletea watoto madhara mbalimbali ikiwemo nidhamu ya uoga na kutojiamini na hivyo kumyima fursa ya kuwa mdadisi na kudhoofisha uwezo wa akili yake kukua kadiri ya umri wake. Kwa maneno mengine, unamdumaza mwanao kwa wewe kutohsiana vyema na mzazi mwenzio. Wewe ni mama au baba kwa mtu na si vinginevyo. Hivyo majina mnayoitana mkiwa na mihasira yenu yanawaondolea uhalisia na heshima mbele za watoto wenu.

Inawezekana kabisa mzazi mwenzako ni mkorofi na hajali kama kuna mahitaji ya watoto na familia kwa ujumla. Ingawa tunatambua umuhimu wa kushirikiana katika kulea watoto, busara inahitajika katika kuhusiana na mwenza mkorofi wa namna hii katika ndoa. Haingii akilini kwa baba au mama kumcharaza mboko mwenza wake wa ndoa/mzazi mwenza kisa kakosea. Sasa unamcharaza viboko ili ajifunze ama unabomoa mahusiano yenu na maisha ya watoto wenu bila ya wewe kujua?

Suala lingine linaloathiri maadili ya watoto amabalo ni la kimahusiano katika familia ni ubinafsi uliokithiri kwa baadhi ya wazazi. Kuna wazazi ambao wanaishi kwa sheria ndani ya nyumba kwa kuwazuia wenzi wao ikiwemo watoto kutotumia baadhi ya miliki zilizomo ndani ya nyumba zao. Kwa mfano, kama baba hayupo TV, Radio, nk. haviwashwi ama akiwepo basi woote mnaangalia anachotaka yeye na hakuna mjadala juu ya hili. Bado yote haya ni kutowaheshimu wezi wao wa maisha. Dharau unazomfanyia mwenzio mbele ya watoto wenu unajenga maisha ya watovu wa nidhamu. Watoto namna hii hawatoweza kuwaheshimu watoto wenzao na hata watu wazima ikiwemo waalimu. Matokeo yake watoto hawa itawawia vigumu kusoma darasani na mara nyingi wataishia mitaani kuhangaikia matumbo kwa kugaagaa kuganga njaa ukubwani. 

Ikiwa huna mahusiano mema na mkubwa mwenzio vipi utakuwa na mahusiano wa watoto wenu? Watoto pia wanakumbana na changamoto kama ilivyo kwa watu wazima na wanahitaji mtu wa kuwasikiliza na kuwapa ushauri wa namna ya kuzitatua changamoto hizo. Kutokana na kukosekana kwa mahusiano na mawasilianao mazuri baina ya wazazi na watoto wao, watoto wanapata wakati mgumu kujenga ukaribu na wazazi. Pindi wanapopata changamoto, hasa katika kipindi cha balehe kwa kuogopa kuwahusisha wengi wao hutumbukia katika matatizo makubwa kama kutumia madawa ya kulevya na mimba za utotoni. Kuna wazazi ambao kwao ni mwiko kuongea na watoto wao ana kwa ana na badala yake husikiliza mahitaji ya watoto kupitia mzazi mwenza! Matokeo yake mtoto akipatwa na matatizo wazazi hawa mara nyingi huishia kuwalaumu wenza wao ambao eti wameshindwa kulea. Mmeshirikiana kuzaa. Shirikianeni kulea.

Familia nzuri na yenye amani hujengwa kutokana na uhusiano thabiti wa wanafamilia hasa baba na mama. Familia namna hii inayo mazingira muafaka kwa makuzi ya watoto. Ubora wa mawasiliano, uchaguzi wa maneno ya kusema hasa uwapo na hasira mbele za watoto ni muhimu kwa ukuaji na maendeleo ya watoto. Kutofautiana katika mahusiano kupo. Lakini ugomnvi wa maneno kati yenu ufanyeni faraghani, chumbani, n.k. Inawezekana

Prepared by Moses Z. Mgema

Unyenyekevh, Usikivu,  Utulivu hutoa nafasi yakujifunza mara kwa mara kutoka kwa kila Rika, mazingira yote, kwa wenye elimu na wasio na elimu, kwa wazoefu na wasio na uzoefu, kwa wanaojua na wasio jua, hilo litakuwa jicho lako la tatu kukusaidia kuona kile ambacho kwa macho yako hayo mawili huwezi kukiona. Watu wengi tumepoteza uwezo wakuona kwa sababu tunaamini tunajua kila kitu kwa sababu ya nafasi tulizo nazo, Utajiri, uongozi ambao unatupa nafasi ya kufanya maamzi. 

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50 best psychology quotes: A list of psychological deep quotes about life

If you’ve been searching for the greatest psychology quotes ever, you’ve come to the right place. This post is dedicated to the best quotes about psychology from the greatest individuals of all time. From actual psychologists like Freud and Jung to renowned writers like Daniel Keyes and Charles Dickens, these quotes perfectly articulate the never-ending quest of human beings to better understand our minds and the minds of others. To boldly go where no brains have gone before. Enjoy:

1. “Life doesn’t make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all.” –Erik Erikson
2. “Once you start making the effort to ‘wake yourself up’—that is, be more mindful in your activities—you suddenly start appreciating life a lot more.” –Robert Biswas-Diener
3. “We are what we are because we have been what we have been, and what is needed for solving the problems of human life and motives is not moral estimates but more knowledge.” –Sigmund Freud
4. “If you want to be creative, stay in part a child, with the creativity and invention that characterizes children before they are deformed by adult society.” –Jean Piaget
5. “If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you’ll be unhappy for the rest of your life.” –Abraham Maslow
6. “Everything can be taken from a man, but the last of the human freedoms: to choose one’s attitudes in any given set of circumstances.” –Viktor Frankl
7. “We shouldn’t teach great books; we should teach a love of reading. Knowing the contents of a few works of literature is a trivial achievement. Being inclined to go on reading is a great achievement.” –B.F. Skinner
8. “Probably the biggest insight… is that happiness is not just a place, but also a process. Happiness is an ongoing process of fresh challenges, and it takes the right attitudes and activities to continue to be happy.” –Ed Diener
9. “It is not primarily our physical selves that limit us but rather our mindset about our physical limits.” –Ellen J. Langer
10. “For happy people, time is ‘filled and planned.’ For unhappy people, time is unfilled, open and uncommitted; they postpone things and are inefficient.” –Michael Argyle
11. “The highest and most beautiful things in life are not to be heard about, nor read about, nor seen but, if one will, are to be lived.” –Soren Kierkegaard
12. “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” –Virginia Satir
13. “The best way to find out whether you’re on the right path? Stop looking at the path.” –Marcus Buckingham
14. “Every person on this earth is full of great possibilities that can be realized through imagination, effort, and perseverance.” –Scott Barry Kaufmann
15. “Happiness is not out there for us to find. The reason that it’s not our there is that it’s inside us.” –Sonja Lyubomirsky
16. “When we encounter an unexpected challenge of threat, the only way to save ourselves is to hold on tight to the people around us and not let go.” –Shawn Achor
17. “The truth is, bad things don’t affect us as profoundly as we expect them to. That’s true of good things, too. We adapt very quickly to either.” –Daniel Gilbert
18. “Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” –Carl G. Jung
19. “Be content with what you have. Rejoice in how things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking the whole world belongs to you.” –Lao Tzu
20. “Compassion does not render people tearful idlers, moral weaklings, or passive onlookers; but individuals who will take on the pain of others, even when given the chance to skip out on such difficult action or in anonymous conditions.” –Dacher Keltner
21. “When we are open to new possibilities, we find them. Be open and skeptical of everything.” –Todd Kashdan
22. “It’s more selfless to act happy. It takes energy, generosity, and discipline to be unfailingly light-hearted. Yet everyone takes the happy person for granted.” –Gretchen Rubin
23. “Happiness is the only thing that multiplies when you share it.” –Albert Schweitzer
24. “Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated… the body sticks to the facts.” –Alice Miller
25. “Becoming is better than being.” –Carol S. Dweck
26. “I don’t know what’s worse: to now know what you are and be happy, or to become what you’ve always wanted to be and feel alone.” –Daniel Keyes
27. “A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.” –Charles Dickens
28. “Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.” –David Richo
29. “The pendulum of the mind oscillates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong.” –Carl Gustav Jung
30. “We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.” –William Shakespeare
31. “The human race is a monotonous affair. Most people spend the greatest part of their time working in order to live, and what little freedom remains so fills them with fear that they seek out any and every means to be rid of it.” –Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
32. “How hurtful it can be to deny one’s true self and live a life of lies just to appease others.” –June Ahern
33. “Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” –Viktor E. Frankl
34. “The human mind is not a terribly logical or consistent place.” –Jim Butcher
35. “Reality denied comes back to haunt.” –Philip K. Dick
36. “A life that is burdened with expectations is a heavy life. Its fruit is sorrow and disappointment.” –Douglas Adams
37. “…But the human tongue is a beast that few can master. It strains constantly to break out of its cage, and if it is not tamed, it will turn wild and cause you grief.” –Robert Greene
38. “People who need to bully you are the easiest to push around.” –Douglas Adams
39. “We forget very easily what gives us pain.” –Graham Greene
40. “Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.” –Marshall Rosenberg
41. “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.” –Eckhart Tolle
42. “When we suffer anguish we return to early childhood because that is the period in which we first learnt to suffer the experience of total loss. It was more than that. It was the period in which we suffered more total losses than in all the rest of our life put together.” –John Berger
43. “The world makes much less sense than you think. The coherence comes mostly from the way your mind works.” –Daniel Kahneman
44. “Whole life is a search for beauty. But, when the beauty is found inside, the search ends and a beautiful journey begins.” –Harshit Walia
45. “We often feel that we lack something, and seem to see that very quality in someone else, promptly attributing all our own qualities to him too, and a kind of ideal contentment as well. And so the happy mortal is a model of complete perfection — which we have ourselves created.” –Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
46. “Vulnerability is not knowing victory of defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in.” –Brene Brown
47. “…the sole purpose of human experience is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.” –Carl Jung
48. “It is a predisposition of human nature to consider an unpleasant idea untrue, and then it is easy to find arguments against it.” –Sigmund Freud
49. “To find out what is truly individual in ourselves, profound reflection is needed; and suddenly we realize how uncommonly difficult the discovery of individuality is.” –C.G. Jung
50. “People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.” –Thomas Szasz

Writer Nathan Davidson

Published Jan 26, 2022

Features 17 comments

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1. E

   The night is the day without light

   Emma on December 30, 2022 at 8:44 am Reply
2. U

   Comment.. A good counselling most be confidential and nonjudgemental. an good counsellor most have the knowledge about the subject matter,Counsellor most be organised within the practice and he most practice ethically and professionalism.

   UZAIFA AUWAL on June 8, 2022 at 8:02 am Reply
3. T

   Keep moving forward.

   Tava on May 14, 2022 at 1:00 am Reply
4. M

   No one is ever been so good at being so bad and no one is ever been so bad at being so good.

   Madu John Nnamdi

   MADU JOHN NNAMDI on September 4, 2021 at 4:27 am Reply
5. H

   Great words. Thank you for this.

   HealthTimes on August 24, 2021 at 6:20 pm Reply
6. A

   But Quotes won’t Work Unless you Do ,

   Anu on May 11, 2021 at 12:27 am Reply
7. H

   Feeling selfish considering my failings as they represent damage inflicted to loved ones, not to entertain the ripple effects…blah de blah blah, then a light emboldens my opposing gratitude for my every breath. Thanks for this site, for whom may relate, a friend I’m yet to receive, thanks above as I do breath.

   H on November 30, 2020 at 3:49 pm Reply
8. M

   The Best Of Psychology

   Michael on November 9, 2020 at 12:57 am Reply
9. S

   nice post

   Sonu Sharma on October 5, 2020 at 5:36 am Reply
10. Z

    I’m very enjoy with this manner’s. Thank very much.

    Zamfat on August 21, 2020 at 11:38 am Reply
11. 

    These quotes made my day. thanks

    ravinder on August 5, 2020 at 3:01 pm Reply
12. J

    Wisdom is found first in reverance and in respect to all .Not that you either believe or except others choices yet respect that they all have the choice to live free or bound and only what they choose meets them in the end and there will be there judge .So live with love listen learn share observe and allow for all to make there path and receive its outcome .everyone is responsible to seek and find ask and recieve and knock and open and in the end there path wide or narrow will be received.

    James on July 26, 2020 at 3:33 pm Reply
    • D

      Love yourself before you love others. Be selfless before your selfish. Build yourself up before you build up others. Worry about yourself before you worry about others. That is the key to staying happy.

      Daniel Mcferren on May 14, 2021 at 9:47 pm Reply
      • R

        ALWAYS MAINTAIN A JOYOUS MIND

        Richard on April 24, 2022 at 3:51 pm Reply
      • T

        self-love is the greatest medicine

        Tugume David on September 20, 2021 at 8:28 pm Reply
13. D

    Some people are prisoners of their own opinions. Some people are victims of their negative behaviors.
    – Dr. T.P. Chia

    Dr. T.P. Chia on January 3, 2020 at 3:34 am Reply
14. M

    Great quotes from great people!

    Magi Angelova on April 20, 2019 at 6:06 am Reply

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